Between You and the Giant Squid
by PowerOfFail
Summary: Lily said she would choose the Giant Squid over James...well, maybe he thought if HE were a giant squid, then maybe, just maybe, she'd say yes...


**Author's Note and Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter, guys. Or the Marauders...or a Giant Squid...but it would be WICKED if I did...**  
Well nywho. So here's my new fic, sorry it took so long. I was working on another one and...yeah. It's gonna be wierdddd.  
So I really have no idea where this one came from. I just got the idea that, you know how Lily told James she'd rather go out with the Gaint Squid than him? Well, I was thinking that if he was desperate enough, he'd turn himself into a giant squid and _then_ ask her out. Or get one of his mates to do it, cuz squids can't talk. So, nywho, here ya go...(and _yes_ I do realize this is my second fic that involved the Giant Squid...I just love them, they are such awesome animals!!)

Oh and sorry for all the spelling mistakes and stuff, I wrote it at...erm...it's 3:00 A.M. at my place...so yeah, I wrote it at 3:00...so forgive me? I'll beta it later, promise! thankies!

* * *

"Alright, Sirius, cast the spell." James said, a look of set determination set on his face.

Sirius shrugged and lifted his wand, glancing once at the book next to him. As he prepared himself, Siruis mentally kicked himself for even agreeing to help James with this half-baked scheme.

"What's taking so long?!" James demanded.

"Well...it's harder than it looks, you know!" Sirius snapped back, "It's a non-verbal spell, _and_ it's advance Transfiguration!"

"Really, you'd think this would be very easy for you, especially after becoming an Animagus." Remus commented calmly.

15 year olds Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Petter Pettigrew (better known as the Marauders) had been relaxing peacefully in their dormitory relishing the fact that they no longer had any OWLs to study for or classes to attend for the moment. However...that peace had not lasted long, for James had been reviewing the events of the previous day, and had realized something that Lily Evans had screamed at him.

"_I wouldn't go out with you if it were a choice between you...and the Giant Squid!"  
_  
Now James was determined to become a giant squid. He had enlisted the help of his friends, but the only one willing to cast the spell was Sirius. Remus had claimed that he was a Prefect, and as such, could not get involved in such matters. James hadn't wanted Peter to attempt such an advanced spell on him. Now then, on Severus was a different matter...but that was another story.

"Right then, Remus has a good point." James said, "Now, hurry up and cast it!"

Sirius took a deep breath, and with a complicated flurioush of his wand a bright yellow light filled the room accompanied by the smell the was easily distringishable as what one would smell near or in a swamp.

Once the light had cleared, Sirius, Remus and Peter could not believe their eyes. A giant squid was standing right where James Potter had been moments before...

* * *

"REMUS LUPIN!" Lily Evans shouted loud enough for all of Gryffindor Tower to hear, "YOU ARE A PREFECT. WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?"

"I...well...I didn't think...I mean...I doubted they would succeed." Remus attempted to defend himself.

"Hey, Lils, before you tear Moony apart, I have a message from one squid-formerly-kid." Sirius said calmly while really he was panicking. Just wait til McGonagall got wind of this.

"Do. Not. Call. Me. Lils." Lily spat at him, "And don't think that _you_ won't be getting torn apart. You too, Peter! All four of you will be in _so _much trouble..." Lily began threatening.

"Do you want the message or not?" Sirius asked her impatiently, James was started to suffocate for lack of water. Remus quickly set to conjuring a glass tank big enough to stick James in far enough that his gills would reach water. This proved to be difficult.

"Fine. Give it to me. I'll humor you, okay?" Lily asked, crossing her arms looking furious and ignoring Remus, James, and Peter.

"Right, so..." Sirius searched his pockets for the piece of parchment that James had given him prior to this disaster, "Ah, here it is. Ah-hem..."

"Get on with it..." Lily snarled.

"Fine, fine. James said, quote, 'You said you wouldn't go out with me if it was a choice between me and the Giant Squid. Well guess what! Now I _am_ the giant squid. So now you _have_ to go out with me, because there's no differance.' unquote." Sirius recited.

"That logic is utterly skewed, Potter!" Lily told the squid form of James, "There _is_ a differance between you and the squid. _You_ apparently have less intelligance. I'm NOT going to go out with you!" she turned to the rest of the Marauders, "As for the rest of you, I'm going to Professor McGonagall. Don't EVER try anything like this again. Got it?"

Sirius shrugged, Peter cringed and Remus replied, "Yes Lily. We'll be more responsible in the future."

Lily let out a "hmph!" and spun on her heel and stormed out of the boys' domitory to fetch the desired professor.

"I _told_ you this wouldn't have worked...maybe you should have gone for a more adorable animal like a kitten, atleast then you wouldn't have almost suffocated." Sirius muttered at James.

The only reponse Sirius got was the sound of airbubbles in water which seemed to indicate to him, "_Plan 736: failed._"

Remus seemed to have gathered the same thought and shook his head as the sound of laughter floated up to the dormatory and of Professor McGonagall shouting at the Marauders to get into the Common Room before they made things worse for themselves.


End file.
